By: Darlene G. Snyder

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Imagine with me if you will that you just received a phone call from your daughter, sister, niece, or a close female friend who admitted she was working in the adult entertainment industry. More specifically, she was working as a stripper. After the shock, disgust, tears and grief has settled in, you try to understand why. There are many questions and you encourage her to leave that world behind. She tells you she wants out and has actually tried, but the drugs, the men and the need for money continues to drag her back into it.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a phone number of an organization that could help get her out and who could offer her a safe place, with counseling and life skills training?

My friend _______ is a woman who has been caught up into the adult entertainment industry, working as a stripper. She is currently trying to get her life back together. She graciously connected me with the founder of http://www.refugeforwomen.org/, Ked Frank who allocated some time to talk to me, not only for me to learn about the ministry, but also the need for it. Ked says that in Kentucky alone there are five thousand women working in the adult entertainment industry. Some of course, are satisfied with their lifestyle choice, but many of these women are bruised, alone and searching for a way out.

While Ked was on staff at www.southlandchristian.org/in Lexington Kentucky, a member came to him to discuss a ministry she started a few years earlier. She and her daughter started the ministry by taking home cooked meals to the strip clubs. They would go into the back door and feed the girls who seldom enjoyed home cooked meals. She soon had others helping and that program went from a mother and daughter ministry to over 200 volunteers. These women forged friendships and bonds with the strippers and served as a witness to Christ’s love for them. When the mother came to him for help, she said there needed to be a next step – a place for the women to go who wanted to leave that world behind.

Because he had experience in working at a Refuge for Men program in Ohio, he knew how the program should work. A friend donated an old farmhouse for use by the Refuge. It was remodeled and redesigned using volunteers and donated supplies. They soon became a non-profit organization and Ked left Southland as a staff member to become Executive Director of Refuge for Women. The house completed for under $20,000.00, had room for seven women.

According to their website http://www.refugeforwomen.org/ “The Refuge for Women is a twelve-month holistic journey for women who wish to leave the adult entertainment industry. There is no charge to guests as they live and work together as a family towards healing. During their time at The Refuge, women will develop and work on a “Life Plan” – focusing on physical and emotional health, spiritual growth, education, and life skills necessary for a stable and productive life. As women complete their time with us, they will have the opportunity to serve other women in the industry through ministry internships, or may choose to pursue resources towards further education and stable employment.”

Ked says that some women come into the program, but finds it too difficult to either abide by the strict rules, or they just can’t take the next step. He likens their hesitation to John 6 where Jesus was teaching on the mountain.

John 6: 60 On hearing it, many of his disciples said, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?” 61 Aware that his disciples were grumbling about this, Jesus said to them, “Does this offend you? 62 What if you see the Son of Man ascend to where he was before! 63 The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life. 64 Yet there are some of you who do not believe.” For Jesus had known from the beginning which of them did not believe and who would betray him. 65 He went on to say, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled him.” 66 From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. (NIV)

When the level of commitment goes up, it becomes too hard and the people walk away. As the commitment becomes harder, then it is human nature to walk away and give up. It is hard to change patterns. Jesus knew from the beginning what they would do. He knew some would find it difficult to follow his teachings.

Ked also knows that this program, which by the way is not just a program for Kentucky, will not help every woman in the adult entertainment business who says they want out. It will help only those willing to make the commitment it takes. National average is a 10% success rate in programs such as this. The girls in the industry feel that even as bad as it is, as bad as they are being treated, they are comfortable in their chaos. They are trying to survive – the thought of something better gets harder and harder to see. They don’t know how to do anything else.

Consider the following information found on the website http://www.refugeforwomen.org/ :

• The sex industry is a 97 billion worldwide business annually
• There are more strip clubs in the United States than any other nation in the world.
• There are 3,829 adult cabarets nationwide, employing over 500,000 people.
• Statistics show that a single gentlemen’s club in a major metropolitan area averages between $10-20 million per year in gross revenues. A small club in a rural area (Less than 5000 square feet) can generate over a million dollars, while cities in secondary markets such as Cleveland or Pittsburgh have clubs that gross approximately $2 million per year.
• The number of major strip clubs nearly doubled between 1987 and 1992, and by 1997 there were around 3000 clubs nationally. The industry is estimated to be a 15 billion dollar business, with the annual revenues of strip clubs ranging from $500,000 to over 5 million (Hanna, 2005; Schlosser, 1997).
• A study of exotic dancers found that 100% had been physically assaulted in the clubs where they were employed, with a prevalence ranging from 3-15 times over the course of their involvement in exotic dancing. Violence included physical assault, attempted vaginal penetration, attempted rape, and rape (Holsopple, 1999).
• In another study, 51.2% of women working as exotic dancers were threatened with a weapon (Raphael & Shapiro, 2004).
• Between 66-90% of women in the sex industry were sexually abused as children.
• More women are employed by the sex industry than any other time in history.
• Compared to the general population, women in the sex industry experience higher rates of: substance abuse issues, rape and violent assault, sexually transmitted diseases, domestic violence, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.

It is obvious this is an area where Christians need to focus some time and energy. For too long now, this has been a taboo area for Christians. It is a prime opportunity to show God’s love, grace and redemption.

Consider words of  ___________ from one of her updates on a social network,

“I’m not a perfect girl; my hair doesn’t always stay in place. I spill a lot of things. I’m pretty clumsy and sometimes I have a broken heart and maybe some days nothing goes right but when I think about it and take a step back to remember how amazing life truly is and maybe, just maybe I like being imperfect.”

“When I say I am a Christian, I’m not trying to be strong. I’m professing that I’m weak and need His strength to carry on.”

This is a girl truly touched by the grace of God and by loving Christians who were not afraid to get their hands dirty. At the moment, _________ is living temporarily in an old remodeled farmhouse, which is located in the middle of nowhere; getting the professional help she needs and is being helped by employees and volunteers connected to the http://www.refugeforwomen.org/ program.

 To discover ways you can help, check out the Refuge for Women’s website.

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Why does a Christian swallow the poison Satan offers?  Aren’t we supposed to be strong in the Lord and able to fight off whatever Satan sends our way?  When we are only Sipping the Living Water, our thirst isn’t quenched so we go elsewhere looking for something more. This is usually how we are ensnarled into the grip of Satan believing his lies and doing his bidding, regardless of how strong we perceive ourselves to be.  In reality, our weakness and failures take hold, overwhelming us.

 What are some things we could possibly consider as Satan’s poison?  I’m not good enough or I’m not strong enough are examples of lies we believe.  Out of these lies self-doubt and self-loathing are born. Nobody loves me, or I’m so alone are additional examples of our gullible beliefs.  These beliefs causes even the best Christian to search for love in the wrong places.

 What does a Christian  who  is Sipping the Living Water look like? First, I’d suggest if you look into the mirror, you might see a sipping kind of Christian.  Very few Christians plunge into the Living Water.  Most of us want to pretend we are there, pretend the water is rushing over us – protecting us from the lies Satan feeds us. But, it takes one negative thing to happen in our lives, then our weaknesses allow some of those lies to penetrate our lives and mind.

Other examples of Christians who are sippers are those who forgo reading the Bible, forgetting that God’s word is sharper than a two edged sword.   We leave our weapon at home on a shelf. How then can we expect to fight Satan without our weapon of defense?  Christians who neglect their prayer life also lessen their defenses.  Those who abandon the practice of gathering together with other Christians in worship are most susceptible and likely to swallow Satan’s lies.

 Many times in life, we find friends, family and acquaintances who succumb to the lies Satan offers.  We have many examples of true-life happenings and events that show how Satan’s poison and lies can penetrate lives.  The results often are detrimental to families, churches and friends of those involved.

 Famed founder of the PTL Club, Jim Bakker didn’t start out swallowing Satan’s poison.  When he began his ministry, it was just that, a ministry. According to www.wikipedia.org Bakker’s son Jay, who is now a minister, wrote of the PTL years in his book, Son of a Preacher,   ”The world at large has focused on my parents’ preaching of prosperity, but…I heard a different message — one of forgiveness and the abundance of God’s love. I remember my dad always seating a mentally handicapped man in the front row and hugging him. And when vandals burned an African American church down, Dad made sure its parishioners got the funds to rebuild. His goal (my emphasis) was to make PTL a place where anyone with a need could walk in off the streets and have that need met.”

 Jailed after being convicted of overselling timeshares to a hotel on the PTL grounds, his life was already in shambles from the admission that he committed adultery.  Jim Bakker had time to think and reflect upon his actions.  In his book, I was Wrong, he wrote, “I was appalled that I could have been so wrong, and I was deeply grateful that God had not struck me dead as a false prophet”

 What is Living Water?   He is the Living Water.  Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.” John 7:38 (NIV)

 I just love that verse. Maybe because I love creeks and streams so well, but maybe more than that, the thought of  streams of living water flowing within me sounds so empowering. That stream of Living Water is my immunization against any poison Satan sends my way.

The book is about a country church – my home church and the community of Kirksville Kentucky where the church sits. It is history, but it also gives the readers an inside view of the making of a church – the successes and failures. I share memories of some members of the church as well as glimpse into the community. If you enjoy reading about people outside your own community and enjoy seeing how other people live or have lived, you will enjoy the book.  There are also plenty of pictures. 

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2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Read Psalm 22:23 & 1 John 4:18

All of my life, I have been terrified of worms.  Go ahead and laugh, I understand this is a foolish fear. Nevertheless, I despise all worms.  As a child, my brothers were all too eager to exploit my fear.  We would be playing outdoors when suddenly one of them would remember how fearful I was of the worms.   All that it would take was a threat and I would run to safety.  Sometimes they would dig one up and chase me with it.  I remember jumping into an automobile parked in our drive, locking all of the doors, and rolling up the windows in order to escape from my tormentors.  There I would be, sitting in a hot car while my brothers dangled a worm in front of me.  Sometimes they would even place the worm on the windshield. I would stay there until they got tired of tormenting me.

Being afraid of worms caused me to foolishly lock myself into a hot car.  I have an aunt who is afraid of cats.  She is frightened to visit people for fear they might own one.  I’ve heard her scream and watched as she ran hysterically away from an animal she thought might be a cat. Both of us act unreasonably because of our fears.

Fear causes Christians to lose focus.  That is what Satan wants. He promotes fear.  Christ is the “perfect love” that cast out our fears.

Prayer

Heavenly Father I commit my fears to you today.  Help me to always trust in you completely.  Thank you for giving me the resolve and courage to face all of my fears. 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

It is easy to say we trust Jesus, but it is harder to show through our actions that we trust Him.

PRAYER FOCUS

The lost, for they have reason to fear.

By: Darlene G. Snyder

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All this snow and talk of snow reminds me of sledding. If you check the archives of this blog, February 08, I believe, you will find some of my childhood sledding memories.

Today though, I want to share about a sledding experience I had as a young adult.

In 1989 or early 1990, we received a lot of snow. School was out and most of our family was off work because of the snow/ice covered roads. My husband worked for the road department at the time and was working sixteen-hour shifts.

My brother-in-law, who lived on a large farm at the time, had to feed cattle. While he was out, he got the idea of pulling a feed trough with the tractor –using the trough as a sled. He called all of us and invited us to come to the farm for an afternoon of sledding.

We put enough clothes, socks and long warm underwear on that we wouldn’t freeze. We met at his house, loaded in his big four-wheel drive truck and headed to the backfields.

I’d dare not guess how many times all of us, except my brother-in-law, who was driving the truck, piled into the long narrow trough and held on tight as he pulled us around the farm. It was a total blast!

I think I would be to much of a chicken at my current age to participate in such a scheme as the trough sled, but it sure was a fun time.

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This is a story that I wrote and was published by Xulon Press  in a anthology titled, I’ll Be Home For Christmas.

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The sound of the knock on our door and then a big, “Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas!” sent all three of us squealing and running for cover. We just knew Santa had come, caught us awake and out of our beds. There will be no toys for us this Christmas if he finds us awake, we thought.

We had just spent time with visiting family. My aunt Kathleen or “Kat” as we fondly called her, my uncle “Deb” shortened from Delbert, and their two children, Ricky and Debbie had just left our house.

Mama had cooked a great meal for all of us. My brother, sister, cousins and I played games, told jokes, and did everything we could to make time pass. Our anticipation of Santa’s arrival caused us great anxiety. We had been outside looking up toward the sky; checking to see if we could see Santa and his reindeer anywhere. “Look!” one of us yelled out, “over here, hoof prints in the snow.” That sent us all in a tizzy, and running for the house, for we just knew it was from the reindeer.”

After the adults assured us that it wasn’t time for Santa, that those prints were not made by reindeer, we calmed down and went back to our playing. Soon it was time for the cousins to go home. We said our good-byes, while kidding about keeping watch for Santa Claus.

We still had Santa on our minds as we went through the routine of getting ready for bed that night. We hadn’t quite made it to bed when we heard a knock on the door. The excitement, the euphoria was like electricity in the air when we heard, “Ho, Ho, Ho. Merry Christmas!”  Could it really be Santa? Mama opened the door and as we peered out from behind her, we spotted our uncle. He’d returned to the house, because he’d forgotten his hat!

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I left work early Friday afternoon so Mike and I could ride our motorcycle again, after deciding that the upcoming week-end weather forecast was for much cooler and rainy weather. We thought this might be our last chance to ride for a while. It was a bit windy, but riding on the back roads, the wind didn’t bother us to much. Actually, Friday was a gorgeous day in Kentucky.  We stayed pretty close to home, and I took several pictures. 

One of the first places we went was to a little side road in Madison County that dead ends at the creek. The part of Paint Lick Creek that ran around the small farm where Mike grew-up, was a great place to stop, take pictures and listen as he reminisced. He told of playing on the tree covered hillsides, in the creek and around the farm that we could see from our vantage point. The following is a story about a shotgun, cowboys and Indians that he told me today. Too funny not to share.

After watching several Westerns with shoot-em-up cowboys and fighting Indians, Mike decided to try his hands with a shot-gun. He was somewhere around the age of ten. His mom was at work in the factory, his dad was on another farm down the road, working. Mike took the loaded shot-gun from its resting place inside the house, jumped onto the old mare that the family used as a work horse, and went riding down the woods next to the creek. The woods were on a hillside.

As he looked for Indians to shoot, he spotted movement just ahead and pulled up the shot-gun, pointed it in the direction of the Indian and pulled the trigger. At the moment that he pulled the trigger, the gun resting against his shoulder kicked back and made a loud BOOM! The blast scared the horse, who began jumping and bucking; Mike landed in a heap on the ground. The shot-gun’s barrel went deep into the damp ground and immediately filled with dirt, mud and damp leaves. After pulling himself up and off the ground, he saw that he was alright, other than a really sore shoulder; he pulled the gun out of the ground. His first thought was how his father was going to kill him!

Mike spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning the gun the best that he could. Afterwards, he put the gun right back where he got it and never told a soul what happened until about ten years later.

I enjoyed listening to Mike’s stories, but soon we moved on and rode over to Garrard County and then Lincoln and Boyle counties. When it came time to stop and rest, we stopped at the Country Diner in Lancaster.

The Country Diner

 We met two of Lancaster’s finest citizens while eating at the diner. I didn’t get their names, but I did get their picture. Maybe they will leave a comment in the comment section and tell us who they are and about their town and job.

Lancaster's finest

Here are a couple of the scenery pictures from our ride.

Mike as he is looking across the creek into the wooded area of the shoot out! Maybe I should say the shoot off!!

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Our Sunday motorcycle trip took us to Estill, Lee, Owsley, Clay and Jackson Counties. We saw the changing colors of the trees as they stood along side fall flowers blooming as if they had all the time in the world. The ride was enjoyable for the most part. It changed from enjoyable to chilly after we stopped at a Dairy Queen and I made the mistake of drinking a COLD soft drink. To make matters worse, the weak side of me chose to eat a chocolate dipped ICE cream cone.  I spent the remainder of the trip shivering; luckily, we were only twenty minutes from home.

Monday afternoon’s ride took us to Poosey Ridge and to the Kentucky River – one of our favorite places to ride to in our area. The view of the shadowing on the river in the late evening is a picture begging to be painted on canvas. Darkness began to cover us on the way home, but I was able to get a few shots of a  beautiful  post sunset.

Here are some of the pictures I took. I hope you enjoy seeing my world -it sure is a beautiful one.

By: Darlene G. Snyder

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One of my goals for this blog is to encourage you to preserve your memories in whatever way is most comfortable to you. In past articles I’ve spoken about audio or video recording older members of your family. I’ve encouraged you to write your memories and preserve them through your written words.

Photography is also another area you could use as a means to preserve memories. At almost every family function for years, I had a camera in hand. I now have photos in which  family members have requested copies. If I attended a church function, I took my camera. Regardless of the setting, I was the one people ran away from -I suppose it could be that I’ve caught a few of them with thier mouths open as they were eating food.  Oops. I’d like to believe my photographing habits have changed drastically. I try to catch the would be photographed person at thier best.

Scrapbooking is another way to preserve your memories through the use of photographs.  I’ll leave this subject to folks more qualified than me as I am not much of a scrapbooker. I have plenty of photo albums, but they aren’t pretty and decorative. For more information on scrapbooking from professionals, check this site, http://www.everything-about-scrapbooking.com/

Some of you may ask, “Why do you believe preserving memories is so important?” This is a good question and I found a great article that answers that question. The folks at thelegacyguide.com  offers a book and downloadable forms to help you preserve your legacy. The link to the article is here,  http://www.thelegacyguide.com/why_tell_your_story.html

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I completed my book on the Kirksville Community and now I wait patiently for the publisher to complete the printing process. For information on how to get your copy of the book, you can go to my website. It is www.darlenesnyder.com

I want to share some details about our community to just wet your appetite for some great reading. I can say that because I’ve invested a whole lot of time into the book as well as had several readers to critique and offer creative solutions for my areas of weakness. The final product will be awesome, if I must say so myself.

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• Mrs. Croucher, as well as others with whom I spoke, told me that revivals were always held for two weeks at a time. There was usually more than one revival per year. When revivals were held, nothing interfered with the services. For instance, there were two services, one in the mornings and one in the evening. If the men were working in the fields, they would leave the fields; go to church just as they were–work clothes and all. They would go home after services, eat, and go back to work. They would always stop working in the evenings in time to go to the services.  Dorothy Spurlock, another veteran member, remembers when there were no screens in the window of the Sanctuary. People would come to services, revival and Sunday services alike, and would stand outside of the windows and listen to the preaching and singing.
• “Kirksville is unique among thousands of similar villas, especially in the succession of individualistic characters who have trod these hills and rills for near two centuries. The essence of history must be the personalities around whom it revolved and evolved.” Eugene Spurlock Jr
• My grandmother shopped and traded in one of the stores located in Kirksville during the 1930′s and 1940′s.  She’d take hens, eggs, and cream to trade for coffee, flour and sugar.My grandfather raised meat hogs, usually twelve or thirteen each year. They cooked lard from the hog fat to use at home, sold the hams, and kept the shoulder and jowl meat for themselves.After raising over two-hundred pounds of corn, they’d take it to Lige Tussey’s mill in Kirksville to be ground as meal. He would keep half the meal for grinding the corn.A man that my father referred to as “Butterhead Tussey” owned a cream station.  Mr. Tussey’s wife, Florence didn’t have any way of testing to see if the cream was sweet or sour except to dip her finger in the barrels of cream and then lick them. If it were the sweet cream, which was sold to make butter, they’d receive more money for it. My grandmother made homemade cottage cheese from some of the cream.  She skimmed the cream off the milk, let it clabber then boiled it.
• Each year on the fourth Saturday of September, the Kirksville community comes together for a day of celebration. Venders set booths up along the main road of the Kirksville community as well as in front of the community center located in the former school. People from all around the County travel here to enjoy a breakfast of homemade biscuits, gravy and ham that  the masons and lodge members cooked.  Early in the morning of Kirksville Day while most are still in their warm beds, the cooks arrive and spend several hours getting the grub together. On those early mornings when I walk out my front door, the smell of country ham as it cooks assaults me. The delicious odor hovers over the area like a cloud.  It isn’t until I follow the smell in my trance like state and order a plate of food that spell is broken.  This breakfast is a fundraiser for the lodge to help them in their community activities. It is a fun time of fellowship and it gives us an opportunity to spend a brief few minutes talking with friends and family that have gathered.
• There is an ancient Indian Burial Mound in our area. Pictures are included in the book.

Don’t forget to check my website www.darlenesnyder.com for information on getting your copy of my book, Casting bread Upon the Water